I cannot compete with you . . .

Jolene, Mindy Smith Feat. Dolly Parton

"Jolene . . . I'm begging of you, please don't take my man. Jolene . . . Please don't just because you can . . . He talks about you in his sleep . . . he calls your name. . . You could have your choice of men, but I could never love again. He's the only one for me, Jolene. I had to have this talk with you, my happiness depends on you and whatever you decide to do, Jolene."

These are just a few of the lyrics from the song Jolene, originally sung by Dolly Parton. I become slightly obsessed with this song years ago as a smaller version of myself when I saw the music video (see above) on MTV--you remember, back when they actually played music.

Anyway, I convinced my (now) stepmother to take me to the store and purchased the album at Target. I hadn't though much about the lyrics. I simply enjoyed the singing and the melody. After listening to it a few times, I eventually came to the same conclusion that most everyone else did: Jolene is a bitch!

That is until my stepmother heard this song. Instead of hating Jolene, she hated the man! Well, this was a revolutionary thought to me. But she was right. If I remember her words, "why is she mad at Jolene? It's her man who's stepping out on her. If it wasn't Jolene, it'd probably be someone else." Albeit in a winded way, my point is that too often we women blame other women for our relationship hurt and pains when in reality, we should be looking square at the man!

Who of us (women) have never said, "If it weren't for his ex-girlfriend, we'd . . . " Or, if you think yourself free of sin, let's examine pop culture. The semi-popular, kind of ridiculous movie John Tucker Must Die has an amusing scene where all of John Tucker's girlfriends/conquests realize they are all dating him. They begin a cat fight and continue fighting until one girl screams at them, "HEY! HE'S CHEATING ON ALL OF YOU AND YOU'RE FIGHTING EACH OTHER?!?!"

My real focus for this post is WHY? Why is it that men can fuck up a relationship and completely escape unscathed? How come we women turn our backs on each other like cannibalistic wolverines and tear each other to pieces? Even I, as virtuous and mighty as I am, have fallen victim to this belief that it's never the man's fault.

I suppose, as with most things in life, there is a simple "survival of the fittest", "only the strong survive", instinctual reasoning behind this fiasco. Once in a relationship, a woman will do anything to keep the man--fight, lie, cheat, steal. It's like a day at the Middle-Eastern market circa Aladdin. Keeping the man as long as possible increases her chances of creating a family, thus the cycle of life continues. The reason WHY we want to keep these men is beyond me (and a topic for further discussion another day), but I end this post with a salute to all women out there. May we learn to stick by each other and fuck over the men before they get to us. A salute to Carrie Underwood. May we learn by your example (see video below). Sure, it's not perfect (ex. "Bleach Blonde Tramp"), but atleast she's breaking ground. Right?



<Advice for the day: ditch your loser boyfriend and find one who actually cares.>

When you wake what is it that you think of most?

Apparently you've lost your way amidst the vast regions of cyber space. Pull up a chair and stay awhile. The topic for today's blog:

What is it that you think of most?

A simple question, really. Money? School? Work? Sex? Hunger? There are numerous things that may pop into your head. PopTarts come to my mind quite frequently. My real introspection is why is it these are always the primary topics? As human beings, we are fueled by this need to be the best, provide the best, have the best. Now, I'm not saying that I don't want the best (and please feel free to send a blank check or two), but how in the world did Money, Work, and School, etc. make it to the top of the list? I miss the times of yesteryear when the first thought of the morning may perchance be of love or adventure. I wish with a full heart that my first thought in the morning were "What happenings can I stumble upon today". Unfortunately, our days are not the days of William Wordsworth (the irony of his name is a post for later). We cannot all simply wander, lonely as a cloud. Some of us have day jobs. Some of us have to pay rent.

Now, it's not really in my blood to leave everything I have behind and travel the world careless and carefree, but how I wish it were! Sometimes I get such a burning desire to just leave when I hear tales of WOOFers (World Organization of Organic Farming) who just up and go to Italy to farm. They make very little, but a. they live in Italy. b. They live rent free. c. They have the weekends off. I already make very little at my commonplace, mean-nothing job . . . at least I could be in Italy AND get the weekends off.

To conclude my post for today, adventure and love should be the common place thoughts of the morning, afternoon, evening, and night. By definition adventure and love should be accompanied by fits of wild passion and frenzied abandon. This, however, does not happen automatically. As my friend Wordsworth would point out, the best adventures rarely occur on your door step. There are lives to lead outside of the one most of us live. Somehow, we must break the chains of normalcy and routine and live.

My point for today is complete. I shall retire to my domain of comforts and laze around while gluttonously consuming copious amounts of food, dreaming of adventure. Perhaps I'll watch an episode of Robin Hood and envision myself roaming Sherwood Forest, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Or maybe I'll go to bed and prepare myself for work. . .

<Live passionately. Love passionately. Passion is the key.>