Jolene, Mindy Smith Feat. Dolly Parton
"Jolene . . . I'm begging of you, please don't take my man. Jolene . . . Please don't just because you can . . . He talks about you in his sleep . . . he calls your name. . . You could have your choice of men, but I could never love again. He's the only one for me, Jolene. I had to have this talk with you, my happiness depends on you and whatever you decide to do, Jolene."
These are just a few of the lyrics from the song Jolene, originally sung by Dolly Parton. I become slightly obsessed with this song years ago as a smaller version of myself when I saw the music video (see above) on MTV--you remember, back when they actually played music.
Anyway, I convinced my (now) stepmother to take me to the store and purchased the album at Target. I hadn't though much about the lyrics. I simply enjoyed the singing and the melody. After listening to it a few times, I eventually came to the same conclusion that most everyone else did: Jolene is a bitch!
That is until my stepmother heard this song. Instead of hating Jolene, she hated the man! Well, this was a revolutionary thought to me. But she was right. If I remember her words, "why is she mad at Jolene? It's her man who's stepping out on her. If it wasn't Jolene, it'd probably be someone else." Albeit in a winded way, my point is that too often we women blame other women for our relationship hurt and pains when in reality, we should be looking square at the man!
Who of us (women) have never said, "If it weren't for his ex-girlfriend, we'd . . . " Or, if you think yourself free of sin, let's examine pop culture. The semi-popular, kind of ridiculous movie John Tucker Must Die has an amusing scene where all of John Tucker's girlfriends/conquests realize they are all dating him. They begin a cat fight and continue fighting until one girl screams at them, "HEY! HE'S CHEATING ON ALL OF YOU AND YOU'RE FIGHTING EACH OTHER?!?!"
My real focus for this post is WHY? Why is it that men can fuck up a relationship and completely escape unscathed? How come we women turn our backs on each other like cannibalistic wolverines and tear each other to pieces? Even I, as virtuous and mighty as I am, have fallen victim to this belief that it's never the man's fault.
I suppose, as with most things in life, there is a simple "survival of the fittest", "only the strong survive", instinctual reasoning behind this fiasco. Once in a relationship, a woman will do anything to keep the man--fight, lie, cheat, steal. It's like a day at the Middle-Eastern market circa Aladdin. Keeping the man as long as possible increases her chances of creating a family, thus the cycle of life continues. The reason WHY we want to keep these men is beyond me (and a topic for further discussion another day), but I end this post with a salute to all women out there. May we learn to stick by each other and fuck over the men before they get to us. A salute to Carrie Underwood. May we learn by your example (see video below). Sure, it's not perfect (ex. "Bleach Blonde Tramp"), but atleast she's breaking ground. Right?
<Advice for the day: ditch your loser boyfriend and find one who actually cares.>
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